happy 12 weeks

maesey mae,

twelve weeks ago, we brought you home from the hospital. the first few weeks were terrifying, i hate to admit. i worried that you weren't getting enough food, that you were unhappy, that you were in pain, that maybe you were just possessed by the devil (hey, five straight hours of scream crying makes you wonder)... and then, little by little, day by day, things got better. you started to look around, take things in, give fleeting, tentative smiles, one day, to my utter surprise and heart stopping delight, you gave a big, hearty laugh. and i can truly say that the last four or five weeks have been, on the whole, just wonderful. you smile and chatter away throughout the day, little coos and laughs, chuckles and mini screams of delight and i just sit and watch you in wonder. it's getting easier and easier to get a laugh out of you, a raspberry on the tummy or a particularly vigorous side to side shake of your lower body while i try to get your little pants onto you usually does the trick. you're a bit suspicious of the camera lately, though, and when i pull it out to try and get a shot of your grins, you just give me the very familiar quizzical furrowed brow. for some reason you love to look at the light reflecting off of the vintage bread box we use to store odds and ends - you'll talk to it like it's your best friend that you haven't seen for weeks.

we go for long walks in the park down the street, where baxy can go off leash, almost everyday or sometimes on little jaunts to the local post office. last week was your first experience with sitting up in the pram, not lying down in the little cocoon that attaches to it, and you absolutely love to look around. you used to fuss and cry for a little bit before falling asleep on our walks but now you're so happy just to check everything out, although you're still usually asleep by the time we get home. you're pretty good at napping, sometimes surprising me with a lovely three hour stretch, which leaves both of us refreshed and in a great mood. because, baby, when you get overtired you're still quite a handful!

the colour of your eyes is a constant source of discussion around here. when you were born they were the most amazing shade of dark grey with just a hint of lavender. i've tried on so many occasions to catch the colour with the camera but it never quite gets it quite right, the depth and gorgeousness of that grey. for the past couple of weeks your father and i thought that your eyes were showing hints of changing to green, like mine but this week, i'm pretty convinced that they are heading towards brown, like your dad. my brown eyed girl. and as your little fuzzy hair grows, it's looking like it might have a bit of a wave to it which thrills me to bits - i'll be so happy if you end up with your father's gorgeous curls.

i love staying home with you, wee one, i wouldn't have it any other way. the days just fly by in a series of nappy changes, cuddles and gazing at your little face. i'm heeding the advice of so many other mothers and really trying to be aware of each moment i have with you, savouring these weeks as you change and grow and i get to know your sweet self.

love,
mom
xox